by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
