This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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