no, he came in my armpit
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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