We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We are two peas in an std pod
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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