the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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