and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
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