It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
