i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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