I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
