I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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