You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
