I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize