3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
