Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
