she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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