I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
