it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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