A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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