Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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