That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
