To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It's rum buckets o'clock
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
