Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
