yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
