My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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