i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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