come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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