I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Randomize
