i don't plan on having that self control this summer
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
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I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
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We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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