I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
