so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
