he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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