her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize