I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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