You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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