I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
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he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
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No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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