He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
