I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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