I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
