Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
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she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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