The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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