i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
When are your genitals available?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
