He uses pillows to masturbate.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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