It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
