I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
