Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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