Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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