I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
