Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
hell yes lets make some ravioli
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
