i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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