Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
