I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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