I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
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I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
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Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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