I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
