I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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