Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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