she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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